Female Advisor Perspective | Breathe, Organize, and Accelerate Out of Divorce
The temptation to just hold your breath and wait for divorce to be over is powerful. The alternative, find your power by grabbing control of your finances, and accelerate into your next chapter.
The temptation to just hold your breath and wait for divorce to be over is powerful. The alternative, grab control of your finances as a first step in finding your power, and then use that power to accelerate into your next chapter. Financial organization is the first step.
Financial Organization for Control
Image by Shubham Dhage
As highlighted in the first installment of our series, Power, Purpose and Finding Control in Divorce, the ‘money’ piece of the divorce process can be a surprising source of strength for women. The basics are straightforward, easy to understand once explained and prioritized properly, and can ultimately create comfort rather than anxiety. Importantly, the positive cognitive impact of the very tangible process of getting organized has the potential to create the spark for broader positive momentum.
This series is divided into five parts, all with the central theme of being intentional about leveraging the divorce process to gain control and accelerate into your next chapter.
Foundational Decision-Making Framework
Financial Organization for Control
Clarity to Create Understanding - Finance 101, The Basics
Cash Flow, Values and Outcomes
Roadmap for the Future
“Many family law professionals will agree that fear overrides all other emotions when it comes to divorce. ”
Psychology Today
Step One: Organize Financial Documents
Image by: Giulia May
Develop a list and begin to collect financial documents
‘Many family law professionals will agree that fear overrides all other emotions when it comes to divorce.’ What are the actions that you can take to help calm some of that sense of fear? Scientists say that organizing has an unusual ability to reduce stress and help us relax.
A simple list of ‘to dos’ can be an important first step in creating order. From a financial perspective, beginning to gather basic financial information is an easy way to begin. In addition to helping us get organized, financial documents will eventually be important in creating visibility and a frame of reference for future planning. BUT, that is not what we are focusing on at this juncture. Don’t try to analyze what is on the statement or in the detail, just collect the documents.
As you collect information, save financial statements or original documents in a private digital account if possible, preferably one that is new and separate from accounts you have shared with your spouse. Start by listing out the below and then check off items as you collect them.
Tax
· Federal Tax Return, State Tax Return (Call the accountant and ask for last 3 years)
· Real Estate taxes (available at Town Hall)
Debt and Loans
· Mortgage documents and/or estimates of amounts
· Car Loans
· Student Loans
Income and Expenses
· Salary and income information (available on pay stubs or tax returns)
· Bank statements. Checking and Savings.
· Credit card statements
· Utility Bills – Gas, electric, water, cable, phone
· Education
· Insurance
· Rent and Mortgage Payments
Assets
· Home Value (Find on Zillow)
· Brokerage account statements
· Cars
As time goes on you will add to this information, but the above is a great place to start. Where there are not statements available you can simply write down balances, or input that information into a spreadsheet if you are familiar with that software.
Step Two: Your Team
Image by Tachina Lee
Develop a list of names and questions to help you select your team
Choosing your team is a critical step in getting the right people on your side. Often these trusted advisors will be able to assist you with referrals to other members of the team as well, helping you to create a list of qualified candidates. A Financial Advisor is likely to have worked with potential candidates to fill the divorce attorney and accountant roles, likewise, a divorce attorney may have insights as well. There is a lot of information available online and friends may also have suggestions.
Give yourself at least a few options for each role as you prepare to interview candidates. Feeling personally comfortable with the team you choose is an important piece of the decision-making process, so if you don’t find that person with the first interview, keep looking. There are many qualified professionals out there.
The below sample questions are designed not only to uncover important information, but also to give you a sense of personal fit.
DIVORCE ATTORNEY | MEDIATOR
How many divorce cases have you handled?
How long have you been with this firm? What do you like about it?
How often do you reach an out-of-court divorce settlement agreement?
Do you know my spouse or my spouse's attorney?
How well do you know the local family court judges?
What kind of experience do you have handling financial settlements?
Will you be handling my case personally or passing it off to someone else at your firm? What is your caseload like?
How much will you charge me and are there any extra fees?
How will you decide whether to petition the court for my spouse to pay my attorney’s fees?
How will you communicate with me?
Financial advisor
A financial advisory relationship early in the discovery process, before decisions are made about financial elements of the divorce, helps ensure fair outcomes and can help you build a sense of financial control early in the process.
Some questions that should help in finding the right fit:
Are you a fiduciary? A fiduciary works in the best interest of the client, a higher bar than non-fiduciaries like broker dealers
Are you a Registered Investment Advisor? Registered Advisors are regulated and monitored.
How long have you been an advisor? Been with this firm?
What do you like best about this firm?
Do you have other clients who you have helped through divorce?
What does the process look like for somebody in my situation?
Will you help with valuation of the divorce assets?
Will you handle the mechanics of transferring assets?
How will you communicate with me? With my attorney? With my accountant?
What happens if the assets do not transfer to me for some time? Will you help even before there are financial assets? For how long?
How much will you charge me and are there any extra fees?
How will you help me after the divorce is finalized? How will it be different?
As mentioned in part one of the series:
Financial advisors will be a partner through the process and often become part of your team post-divorce as well, so a thorough interview process that thinks about this full arc is important. An advisor who can fulfill this role will take the deep personal connection that is developed through the process and bring it full circle to a financial plan that builds your dreams into the future.
Some financial advisors will only take on clients once the divorce is very late stage and assets division in on the horizon. Advisory firms that offer options for early-stage involvement, that is targeted at building financial control early, likely have a deeper understanding of how impactful this control can be.
ACCOUNTANT
What licenses do you have? Certified Public Accountants (CPA) undergo stringent testing in all aspects of financial planning and bookkeeping. The same is not true for lesser designations.
How many divorce related accounting situation have you handled?
Are most of those clients still with you?
What kind of clients do you mostly work with?
How long have you been an accountant? Been with this firm?
What do you like best about the firm?
Who would do the work on my taxes, you or somebody else?
How are divorce situations unique?
How do you communicate with clients?
How much will you help me through the process?
How do you charge for your services? How much is what I need during divorce likely to cost? Ongoing annual cost after divorce?
Step Three: Breath
The process of getting organized by gathering documents and information can be therapeutic. It is a way of taking control in a contained, specific way. Armed with some basic information, you then become better positioned to go out and interview potential members of your team, building a strong network to help you build and accelerate through the process.
Check back with for the next installment in our Series, Power, Purpose and Finding Control in Divorce – Clarity to Create Understanding, Easy Basics. If you would like a more detailed checklist as you begin to gather information just ask. We are happy to help.
Simplicity, purpose, control
Part Three In this Series Coming Soon
Female Advisor Perspective | Power, Purpose and Finding Control in Divorce
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Susan Dahl is a well regarded executive, female industry leader and dedicated client advisor with over twenty-five years of experience. Susan writes on topics such as investing, strategy and financial planning, and is the author of the blog series Female Advisor Perspective, a look into the unique strategy, process and planning insights that emerge when problem solving is viewed through the unique lens of experienced female financial advisors. Susan’s deep and diverse background extends from global investing to risk management to change leadership. This background has laid the groundwork for an approach that asks more of wealth. She shares some her most recent work in a talk for TEDx, Can Happy Make You Money?
